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Post by Alex Porter on Jun 23, 2015 21:43:22 GMT
[attr="class","boxas"] Personality This is where your personality should go, at least 200 words, please!<3 History This is where your character's backstory should be, it should be at least 200 words please<3 | [attr="class","sigh"]face claim [attr="class","sigh"]gender [attr="class","sigh"]age [attr="class","sigh"]alignment [attr="class","sigh"]original district [attr="class","sigh"]occupation [attr="class","sigh"]alias |
[newclass=.boxas] box-shadow: 0 0 5px #888;overflow: hidden; width: 400px; height: 0px;padding-top:400px;transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -webkit-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -moz-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -o-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -ms-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s;[/newclass][newclass=.boxas:hover]padding-top: 0px; height: 400px;transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -webkit-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -moz-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -o-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; -ms-transition: all 1s ease-in-out 0.2s; [/newclass][newclass=.sigh]width:130px;line-height:20px;background:#eb880b;color:#fff;margin-bottom:-10px;box-shadow: 0 0 5px #888;[/newclass][newclass=.fall]overflow: visible;width:130px;line-height:15px;background:#fff;color:#000;margin-bottom:-10px;box-shadow: 0 0 5px #888;padding:2px 0;[/newclass][googlefont="Lobster"]
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Post by Alex Porter on Jun 23, 2015 21:43:10 GMT
I'm testing shit, feel free to ignore.
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Post by Alex Porter on Feb 25, 2015 20:03:38 GMT
Another day successfully wasted, Alex had spent his whole day doing absolutely nothing, spending his time lounging on Emily's sofa, tracing the strings of memories and echos of emotions that hung in the house like some sort of disease. It wasn't a nice feeling, and he almost felt deflated it by it all, like he was now missing something since she was gone. He'd never mourned her when she actually passed - he'd been too big of a mess of drugs, alcohol and his own self-loathing to even register that she was really gone. Besides, they'd never really gotten on, had they? It's not like he'd been missing much, really. But, then he'd recovered, and he'd felt the need to make emends.
She was his sister, after all.
Exhausted, he got Hunter's text and headed over, pushing the door open wearily and shoving it shut, not quite sure what else was so desperate about this evening. He came anyway, as always. He always would for Hunter. He walked towards him slowly, one eyebrow raised as Hunter spoke, trying to figure out exactly what was going on in his head. Whatever it was in his head, Alex wasn't sure if he could handle it right now - he was too emotionally tired already.
"Not tonight Hunter, please," was all he managed, shaking his head as he tried to figure out what was going on. It didn't look like it was going to be a nice night, after all.
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 22, 2014 10:42:09 GMT
Alex just held his hands up in a mock surrender, small, exasperated smile pulling at the edges of his lips as he strummed up some sort of reply, doing his best not to throw any insults or bad jokes Damien's way, just because he knew they'd only end up hating each other again very quickly. "Believe me, I didn't ask her to." It was no lie that, by the time his cancer had eaten most of his body, his mind was already almost completely withered, parts just from the cancer itself, and the rest just because he'd pressed the self destruct button on his life too many times to ever really recover. What hadn't gone wrong in his life, really? Jewel had left or disappeared more than once, he'd killed more good people than he could count on one hand, ruined more lives than he could even bare to think about, and where had it gotten him? Nowhere. He was still just a self destructive, murderous crackhead that spent more time ripping himself apart than spending time with his so called 'family'. No, cancer hadn't been the thing killing him, in the end.
Alex thought that might have been why he'd killed Damien when he had. Not because his hate for the guy was so real and genuine that he wanted to (even if Alex had killed people for lesser things than hating them), but because he actually, in a twisted kind of way, sympathized with him. He knew what it was like to want to die, and he didn't want anyone else to have to suffer through life.
"I also didn't do anything to thank for her it, actually," he added as an afterthought, realising it was Damien's automatic response to assume the worst in Alex, even when he'd truly done nothing wrong. "Hell, we didn't speak for weeks over it; I'm not great at forgiveness." Grinning, he ran his hand through his hair, honestly not sure what else to say to Damien. They'd never been this close to actually getting on before, and Alex wasn't sure if he was enjoying it or if it was just profoundly awkward on both sides. It was strange to consider Damien as something other than an enemy, even if they'd been through similar situations before.
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 21, 2014 21:17:05 GMT
"I, uh-" Alex frowned, pulling away from Hunter slightly so he could stare at his own hands, noting each one of the reddish scratch marks and bruises across his knuckles, dark lines painted onto his brow as it furrowed slightly, face contorted into a frown. What had happened? He didn't know. He could remember attempting to walk home, and then his phone had rang, and everything had gone down hill. Pulling away from Hunter fully, Alex clambered off the bed, hands tapping at his pocket until he eventually felt his phone and quickly grabbed it, managing to unlock it and start scrolling through his past contacts with a renewed sense of urgency. Sure, he felt like crap, and maybe he couldn't think of anything better than sitting back in bed and just cuddling Hunter for the rest of the day, but he was going to find out what happened. He had to. For all he knew, someone was dead because of him.
That's when he found the number, and a fragment of a memory slipped back to him, knuckles turning white as he clutched the phone, staring blankly at it as if he was in shock.
"I'm going to go shower," he finally mumbled, dropping the phone to the bed and walking out of the room, movements slowed slightly, almost as if he was walking through cement. Now that he'd remembered a tiny bit, he didn't want to remember anything. At all.
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 18, 2014 23:54:09 GMT
"I know you will," Alex replied with a lazy grin, knowing that Hunter would happily go to the ends of the earth if it meant cheering Alex up, even if there were times when he really didn't need to. As grumpy as Alex was most of the time, he also managed to pull himself out of it. Sure, he'd relapse and he'd fuck up and he'd feeling like his world was falling apart from than eighty percent of the time, but that's just the way he was. He didn't know how to be any other way. For Alex, self destruction was a path that he'd been set on since he was about five, and no amount of trying to push him off it would actually succeed. Still, Alex knew Hunter would still keep trying, because he was exactly the same. The two were painfully similar, and yet managed to be complete opposites too; Hunter always felt too much, whilst Alex felt too little. Hunter would do anything to be with his family, whilst Alex would do anything to avoid getting too attached. Logically, it didn't make sense, and yet Alex wouldn't have it any other way. "But you don't have to," he finally added, pressing a slow kiss against Hunter's cheek, because just knowing you'd do that is enough."
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 15, 2014 23:27:33 GMT
Alex bit back a rebuttal, knowing that however he tried to explain why he felt like his was different, Hunter would find a way to flip it on it's head so it was okay. It was just that, the way Alex saw it, the only person Hunter physically hurt was himself, but whenever Alex relapsed, the total blank of the night before only left him wondering exactly what went on and, if the grazes on his knuckles were anything to go by, there'd been someone else involved last night (either that or, somewhere in the Capitol, there was a slightly damaged wall). Alex doubted it was the second. Finally swallowing his words, he replied, "I know, I just - I can't escape the feeling I've really fucked up, and I don't even know how because all I can remember is throwing my phone at a wall whilst pissed... Everything else is just a mess." He shook his head slightly as one hand began to run his fingers through Hunter's hair, something he'd taken to doing a long time ago and never really stopped.
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 15, 2014 22:57:55 GMT
He'd know that face anywhere. It was the face he'd hated for most of his childhood, the face he'd avoided and argued with more times than he could actually remember, usually because he'd messed things up for Jewel somehow, and had neglected to even make a tiny attempt to fix what he'd done. It was a face Alex knew all too well. It was one of the many that occasionally haunted his dreams. This face, the face of Damien Orsino, was almost the most painful, too. Not because he wished he hadn't killed the guy (Damien was one of the many people Alex hadn't ever even though to feel bad about), but because he wished he hadn't upset Jewel by doing so. Truthfully, there was no easy way to say 'oh, by the way, I killed your only brother, sorry about that,' without breaking friendships entirely, and now it seemed like the only person who could tell the truth was now able to talk again. After all, it's not like he would've been able to tell Jewel when he was six feet under.
It was the ghost face of a man that Alex had hoped he'd never have to see again, and yet here he was.
Weirdly, Alex didn't even flinch when he knocked shoulders with the almost stranger, gaze only flickering up to the man's face when he recognised his own name. Sure, many Capitoler's knew his face, maybe even his name if they were unfortunate enough to get to know him that well, but he still carried the same reputation as always, and no common stranger would say his name so casually, even if there was a hint of pain behind it.
Besides, he'd recognize that voice anywhere.
"Damien." Alex swallowed, recoiling slightly from where the guy had touched him, even if the act had just been to steady him so he didn't fall. They guy was no threat to him, that much he was sure of, but it still didn't stop the sight of a dean man living from turning his blood to ice, as he stood there for a moment, merely just blinking steadily until he finally pulled himself out of it, knowing that the shock would only give Damien satisfaction. It was easier to act like it was all okay, right? Like nothing had ever changed. "Long time no see, amigo." A lazy smile slowly spread across his face. "I mean, I never thought both of us both surviving to this very moment? Last time I saw you, I had terminal cancer, and you? Well, there was more of your blood on the floor than there was in your veins. Funny how things turn out, huh?"
The last time Alex had honestly seen Damien's body, it had been in more than one piece. He'd started with the throat, slitting it almost too easily as blood painted Damien's neck red with blood, silver blade still pointed towards Damien as he became less of a person and more of a corpse. Exactly what had happened next, Alex wasn't too sure, and it'd been a night he'd spent the best part of his life since it happened trying to forget. All he knew was that he hadn't stopped and, just because Damien was dead, it didn't mean his frozen grip on the blade had released. What was left was a mess of a body and, in that moment, Alex had finally realised that he no longer quite felt human.
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 13, 2014 19:45:25 GMT
Alex just laughed, childish grin spread across his face as he let go of her head, imitating the sound of a buzzer as she stood up, waiting until she was fully stood to quickly respond, "I'm sorry m'am, that is the incorrect answer. The correct answer was, in fact, 'your hilariously awesome childhood best friend that you just know you've secretly missed but haven't know how to get back into contact with." He dared to wink at her, having forgotten just how easy it was to slip back into his old ways when he was with her. Everything was just easier. He didn't have to think about all the complicated things like what subjects he couldn't talk about in case she got upset, or even think about what he was going to say next, as it all just seemed to come naturally.
Talking was easy. It was almost like their childhood all over again.
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Post by Alex Porter on Nov 13, 2014 18:14:51 GMT
It'd been too long since Alex had visited his home district. What with Hunter and all the kids that he suddenly seemed to be the father - or, at least, an adult to - in someway (whether it was Grace or Lily, or, well, let's just say Alex wouldn't be surprised if Hunter turned up one day with another kid just like it was the most normal thing in the world), and Alex honestly wasn't sure how exactly he was supposed to 'adult'. Being responsible was just too much work, and so Alex had eventually found himself escaping to District Two, where he'd spend most of his childhood, in sort of desperate attempt at clawing back whatever he had left of being a teenager.
Walking down the road he used to live on, he was almost sick with the nostalgia it brought it with it; memories of he and Jewel messing around on the streets - getting footballs stuck on top of houses they didn't own and having to find some way of getting to the rooftops without being caught to get them down again, making dens in the back rooms of their houses out of the pillows and duvets, and then pretending to be annoyed with Emily came in and knocked it down, because that just meant they could build it up again. Everything was easier when the only problem you had was whether your mum would give you enough money to buy a double chocolate milkshake with extra cream at the cafe at the end of the road. Right now, Alex felt like his entire childhood was painted in a mist of happiness, and he was fairly positive that most of it was down to Jewel.
Jesus.
He missed her so much.
Slipping into the cafe they'd frequented as kids (honestly intending on buying a double chocolate milkshake with extra cream and sitting in the booth by the window, just for tradition's sake), his gaze flickered over to their old spot, only to see a blonde head already sat there. Wait. Was that? It couldn't be - could it? ...It definitely was. Quickly ordering, Alex took his drink and walked over to the table, balancing his drink on ledge of the window before covering the blonde's eyes with his hands, voice slipping back to his usual confident, almost teasing, tone as he announced, "Guess who?" he paused, unable to keep a smile off his face as he added, "and, just for the record, if you get it wrong, I'm totally regarding our many years of friendship as over, okiedokie?"
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Post by Alex Porter on Oct 9, 2014 17:16:06 GMT
Alex paused in the doorway, fingers gripping the door from tightly as he struggled to comprehend what Hunter had just said. He'd relapsed with what? Hunter didn't do drugs. Hell, with the exception of weed, Alex was fairly sure he'd never even- And that's when he remembered. Jesus, how could he be so stupid, so ignorant? How had he been so wrapped up in his own problems to completely forget about Hunter's? Sometimes he was such a shit boyfriend, it was hard to believe Hunter would've ever picked him over Logan. Finally turning around to face the bedroom again, he thought for a moment, not quite sure what to say or how to react, just knowing he should be doing way more than he should.
Eventually, he walked back over to Hunter, wrapping his arms around his waist as he sat back on the bed, instinctively pulling Hunter closer to him. He still wasn't sure what to say, so he just pressed a long kiss to Hunter's lips, honestly just stalling to find time to find something, anything, to say. "It's okay," he breathed, taking a minute to just watch Hunter carefully, one hand lifting to stroke his cheek gently as he added, "and relapse is a part of recovery, right? Just because you've relapsed doesn't mean anything, I just means that you didn't cope for a night, and that's okay, because everyone has those nights." He wasn't sure if he'd actually made any sense or not, he just knew that he had to say something and, well, that was what had come out. Oh well, he was trying, right?
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Post by Alex Porter on Oct 6, 2014 10:11:01 GMT
"No, I don't know that, but I know Jewel," Alex insisted, biting his lip as he tried to figure out exactly how he was going to make it through this conversation when all he really wanted to do was sit a figure out what the hell had gone on, but luckily Hunter changed the topic for him anyway, somehow managing to ask a question Alex had no idea what the answer to was. Where was he? He didn't know. He could remember getting a phone call, and that the phone call had been distressing somehow, because the first thing he'd done was get some alcohol, and then the rest of the night was just blank, the only clues he had to what had happened being the grazes on his knuckles, which he hoped more than anything were from something stupid like falling over and hitting a wall by accident. He doubted that was what actually happened, but he could hope, right? Instead of answering Hunter's question, Alex just pulled away slowly, shaking his head as he stood up and walked to the bathroom, muttering something about needing to shower.
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Post by Alex Porter on Oct 6, 2014 0:01:41 GMT
"She will," Alex promised, "she always does." Admittedly, it was a promise he couldn't actually keep, as he had no idea whether Jewel would turn up again or not, but he was fairly positive it wouldn't be long until she did. After all, she wasn't exactly a weak or stupid person - she'd find a way to return, even if she was pretty battered when she did. Silently, he pressed a kiss against the top of Hunter's head, gently stroking his back as he tried to figure out what else to say, knowing that what he was doing now clearly wasn't enough, even if it was understandable that this wasn't the only thing on his mind right now. He still felt groggy, and it was only when he'd hugged Hunter that he'd actually noticed he had grazes and bruises across his knuckles from the night before, probably from hitting something, or maybe even someone. But who/what? Alex had no clue.
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Post by Alex Porter on Oct 5, 2014 23:33:11 GMT
Wait. What? Jewel was missing? That couldn't be right, could it? Things like that didn't happen to Jewel - she was the one that, out of all of them, managed to keep her shit together for long enough to avoid that happening. She was never the useless one that needed saving, ever. So how had she been captured in the first place? It all made no sense, and so Alex just stared blankly at Hunter for a minute, honestly unable to process what was going on, before it finally sank in. Jewel was missing. Hunter was crying. If it had been anyone but Jewel that had gone missing, it would practically be business as usual.
"I-" he cut himself off, realising he was about to apologise yet again for last night, and figuring that if Hunter was pissed at him, he would've shown it by now. It seemed like he had just been worried, and with good reason too, as even Alex couldn't tell you his whereabouts last night, as he honestly didn't know. So who did know? What the hell did he actually do last night? Tentatively, Alex crawled out of the bed, deciding that he didn't care if he had a cracking headache and is ached to even move, as Hunter was getting a hug anyway. Sitting next to him on the bed, he wrapped his arms around him, one hand automatically running gently through Hunter's hair as he tried to think of something, anything that would help. "She'll be okay, and so will I," is what he settled on eventually, knowing it probably didn't help at all, just being at a loss as to what else he could say.
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Post by Alex Porter on Oct 5, 2014 22:08:47 GMT
"Thanks," Alex replied meekly, taking the tablet dry and then sipping at the water, honestly not sure if he was going to be able to keep either of them down. He felt sick to his stomach, literally. His head felt sober, but for some reason his body still felt a little drunk, and he honestly wasn't sure if he was going to be able to even stand up without falling over, even if he was fairly sure he was very sound of mind.... Well, he was as sound of mind as he ever really got. Sinking back into the bed again, he dared to look back over at Hunter, quickly concluding that the nausea in the pit of his stomach could actually just be guilt over what he'd done - the hell he'd probably put Hunter through all of last night. How was he not more pissed off? Maybe he was, but didn't want to freak Alex out too much, he honestly couldn't tell.
"I - uh - I don't even remember what happened last night, Hunter. I'm so fucking sorry."
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