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Post by Alex Porter on Jul 4, 2014 18:31:24 GMT
"When am I ever wrong?" Alex joked, knowing that he was actually wrong a lot of the time - another thing on the list of things that he'd probably never admit. Besides, he was fairly sure his inflated ego was something that Logan hated about him, which was what made it all the more fun. When Alex was miserable, he practically lived to piss people off, something he seemed to be quite good at when he put his mind to it. By the time he'd finished speaking, his beer had arrived, and Alex proceeded to sip at it quietly, deciding that he wasn't going too drunk too quickly, that way he could enjoy that night's entertainment (tonight starring none other than Logan Blake) a little while longer. Sly grin painting itself onto his face, Alex took another sip before turning his attention back to Logan, words quickly slipping off his silver tongue, "so, I know why I'm here, drowning my sorrows - but what about you, Mr? What's your story?"
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Post by Alex Porter on Jul 4, 2014 18:22:49 GMT
"Please don't lie to me," was all Alex could manage to whisper, gritting his teeth as he wiped away his tears with his right hand, unable to persuade himself to pull his hand from Hunter's, no matter how wrong it'd probably feel when he looked back at it. It just felt right, somehow. But, then again, everything always had when Hunter was involved. "If you had faith in me, we wouldn't be here - we wouldn't be sat here, in this field, trying to pretend that at least one of us is over it." He paused, finally turning to look at Hunter again, deciding he'd rather have the guilt eat him alive than stare at the stars and wish everything was different. "If you had faith in me, I wouldn't be stuck watching you love someone else, wishing you still looked at me the way you look at him."
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Post by Alex Porter on Jul 4, 2014 18:01:36 GMT
Shit. Hunter was crying, how'd Alex not noticed already? He knew it wasn't really his responsibility to try and help anymore, hell, any attempts he'd make would probably only be met with more crying and anger, and the rational part of his head was telling him to just walk away. And yet he couldn't. Slowly, his hand reached out to take Hunter's, squeezing it lightly in a way that said 'it's okay, I feel like shit too.' He still knew the dangers of simply holding his hand, knowing that at any point Hunter could turn and tell him that this was too close to cheating than he was comfortable with... Even if Alex only meant it in a friendly way... Probably.
"What if I don't want to?" was all Alex managed at first, now blinking back his own tears, his fears finally spilling out of his mouth before he could really stop them, "what if I'm just toxic, Hunter? What if I'm just doomed to hurt everyone that I want to protect just because I'm me, and all I really know how to do is break people?" He was crying now, silent tears running down his cheeks before he had the chance to try and wipe them away, not that he could even be arsed to. Everything was too much effort these days.
"I can't do it, Hunter. I can't hurt anyone else. Not again."
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Post by Alex Porter on Jul 4, 2014 17:24:31 GMT
"I guess one of us was always just a little too broken," Alex murmured in reply, smiling a little at the memory, even if it did seem a little bitter now - like he shouldn't find anything comfort in a memory when the ending to their little love story was so sour. Oh well, everything had an ending, right? Even if it wasn't the happily ever after they'd both been looking for. Breathing slowly, Alex finally brought himself to turn and look at Hunter properly, guilt being pumped around his body like blood, coating him until all he could feel was that this was his fault, all of it. He looked away again quickly, too uncomfortable with the feeling to let it hang around for long. Instead, he opened his mouth to speak, but quickly found he didn't actually know what to say, having too many words but not enough time to say them. His silver tongue always betrayed him when he needed it most, unfortunately.
"I did love you," he whispered, adding a small 'I still do' in his head before swallowing a lump in his throat, quickly finishing it with, "I guess I'm just too good at self destruction for anything to ever work, huh?" He fell silent then, unable to shake the feeling that all he ever would be was a bomb, and a fairly shitty one at that. He'd always hurt the people around him, pulling them in close and then pressing the destruct button before they even had time to realise what was going on, breaking people coming to him almost as easily as lying. He honestly couldn't help it and, because of that, he was positive he was going to end up living a very lonely life... No one can get hurt if no one gets close to him, right?
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Post by Alex Porter on Jul 4, 2014 16:56:12 GMT
Whether is was just nostalgia that had brought Alex to the place where everything with Hunter had happened, he didn't know. He couldn't explain why, but whenever he wasn't thinking about where he was going he ended up here, surrounded by stale memories and muddled thoughts about the man he was sure he was supposed to hate now. But that was the thing, he did hate him. He well and truly despised the guy that had broken his heart, even if he knew that the truth of it was that he caused it - he caused the relationship's demise through his own broken actions... Not that he'd ever admit that, obviously. As far as everyone else needed to know, it wasn't his fault; nothing ever was.
Still, he moved slowly though the woods, fingers running across the old bark of the dense trees as he retraced an old path - one that he'd taken before a long, long time ago - the path to one of the first memories he and Hunter had together, back when they were still friends with Nyx. He could remember it almost as if it was yesterday, the memories stinging him before he even had chance to try and push them away. The whole place just reminded him of-
Hunter?
Alex couldn't deny the sight of the figure in front of him, lying on the ground and staring at the stars as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Knowing Hunter, it probably was. He couldn't help but walk over to the guy, feet moving before he could even really think about what he was doing, longing for just one more conversation, one more chance to clear the air. He settles down quietly next to Hunter, taking a long breathe before finally talking.
"Y'know, the first time we came here, I never once thought we'd ever actually get together... I was just kinda happy, y'know? I liked just being here with you and Nyx, with the truth or dare and the skinny dipping and the dancing - I never really wanted the day to end because I was scared that when it did everything would just go back to normal, and that you'd go back to loving Jewel and I'd go back to being a dirty cheat that always fucked up relationships because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants... I guess some things never change, huh?" His soft, quiet, almost as if he wasn't actually sure of what he was saying until it was out in the air already - part of him terrified that Hunter was just going to turn around and tell him to leave him alone because he hated him. He wasn't sure how he'd cope if that happened, he'd not been in a very good state of mind these days.
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Post by Alex Porter on Jul 1, 2014 7:00:28 GMT
Bars, Alex had always had mixed feelings with the places. Whenever he went in, he usually ended up either getting laid or getting punched, sometimes both, depending on the situation. This particular bar, however, he'd never actually been in before. He'd walked past it many times, but the place always seemed a little quieter than what he'd liked, and so he'd never really bothered with it - from the outside, it just looked tame and dull - not really Alex's scene. What exactly had changed today, he didn't know, because this time he actually intended to step foot inside the building.
Slipping around the door, Alex's gaze skimmed the room, an action that had slowly become automatic as the chances of him being slapped in various bars increased. The issue with the reputation of being a douche, he found, was that suddenly everyone was into punching and hitting - anything to get back at him for all the forgotten phonecalls from one night stands. It was only then that he spotted him - Logan - sprawled over the bar with a beer in his hand, clearly a little too drunk to even think straight. Slowly, a thin smile pressed against his lips and he took the seat next to drunkard, unable to keep himself from smiling.
"Not going to lie, Logan, never did take you for a drinker... Or a partyer... Hell, I'm not going to lie, I just assumed you were so dull you didn't leave the house," his glaze slipped away from the guy for mere moments, long enough to catch the bartender's eye and signal for a beer. This night was going to be fun, he decided.
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Post by Alex Porter on Jun 29, 2014 22:46:16 GMT
"No offense Ryan," Alex began, knowing he was probably about to dig himself into an even bigger hole without even trying, "but I'm not you. I'm not weirdly innocent, and I'm not going to fail at something I've been doing for almost as long as I can remember. You're so blind to half the world, you can't possibly protect someone when you don't know most of the things you're meant to protect them from, right?" he paused for a minute, biting his lip nervously as he tried to think of something else to say, another way to be reassuring that wasn't just pointing out how little the guy knew to him. Shaking his head, he was almost tempted to just give up, thinking that the only thing he could think to do now was just kiss the guy, although he could already tell that'd help nothing.
"I mean - I've never been as sheltered as you, ever. I can protect you, but it won't work unless you trust me." Shrugging his shoulders, he lifted his arm off of Ryan's leg, pulling his arms closer to his chest nervously. He was definitely running out of things to say, and the state of Ryan's wrists were starting to drag up demons Alex would've rather stayed buried. The mere sight of them was almost suffocating, truth be told, but Alex was determined not to relapse, especially when he was already trying to kick the drug habit..
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Post by Alex Porter on Jun 24, 2014 23:35:19 GMT
"No - no you're not. I won't let that happen." Alex was still doing his best to comfort Ryan, although he was fairly positive all he was really managing to do was make it a whole lot worse. He wasn't good at this. He wasn't good at comforting anyone that wasn't Hunter - he didn't know how. Besides, when it came to Hunter, he usually just kissed the poor guy when he ran out of things to say, distracting him for long enough that he even dared to cheer up slightly. He couldn't kiss Ryan - they weren't technically together. Still, he was going to try his hardest to cheer him up, even if it meant actually trying to care for someone other than himself.
"Ryan, look at me-" he paused, leaning forward slightly to rest his hand on Ryan's leg, gently rubbing it with his thumb in a really bad attempt to be soothing, "you're not going to die, no one's going to kill you... And, before you tell me that I can't help or protect you or - or whatever, know that I broke into the highest level security offices of the Nut on more than one occasion, and, for the most part, protected my boyfriend from his dad, so I can probably handle it, okay? Okay." He didn't give Ryan a chance to respond to the okay, nodding his head as if he was trying to reassure himself that he was right - that he could do it.
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Post by Alex Porter on Jun 23, 2014 22:37:17 GMT
Alex didn't know what to say at first, questioning time and time again how he was supposed to respond to someone who just said a family member died. He'd never been good with family death, or, well, even death. None of the family he knew had died, and even when someone he actually liked died, well, he preferred to bury those feelings so deep it'd take years to dig them back out again. No, death had never really been a thing Alex never coped with well.
"I - uh - that's shit man, I'm sorry," was all he managed at first, still trying to figure out how to respond, "but, it doesn't mean you should do this, alright? Nothing is ever worth this. It's fucked up and wrong, and trust me I know how horrible it feels to be that low, but it's not worth it... Just - promise me you won't do it again? I mean, I know you don't get what it means and everything, but you just have to trust me, okay?"
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Post by Alex Porter on Jun 23, 2014 21:33:08 GMT
Name: Alex Porter Age: 17 Face Claim: Drew Roy Original District: Two Occupation (over 18s only): N/A Capitol/District 13: Capitol Have you read and understood the rules of this board?: Aye.
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