Alyssa
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Aug 17, 2016 21:43:27 GMT
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 19, 2014 1:28:52 GMT
Azalea reached her pinkie up and locked it with Ryan's. "Why can't all guys be like you?" she said with a slight laugh. Ryan was the only man she had ever trusted who hadn't let her down. Not yet anyways. And Azalea believed that once trust was earned, something completely terrible had to happen before that trust was broken.
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Alyssa
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Aug 17, 2016 21:43:27 GMT
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 17, 2014 14:43:30 GMT
"I just don't know anymore, Ryan," Azalea said, then began crying again. She felt like wasn't herself anymore. She was just living her life the way she had to to get by with no real personality or soul. There was nothing to hold on to anymore. But maybe she could find herself again. Just maybe.
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 15, 2014 23:04:25 GMT
A smile fell across Azalea's lips. No one had been quite so kind to her in months, even if the man wasn't being extremely nice or anything. The only people Azalea had spoken to since Everson left were her sisters, and they weren't on good terms by any means. "Thank you," she said softly. "Do you live around here?" Azalea used to know every face in the entire district, but things had changed. Time hadn't been abundant to Azalea in Flynn's first few years, and since Everson had left she rarely left the house. So whether this guy lived here or not, she wasn't sure. Part of her really hoped that he did just so there was a chance she might see him again.
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 9, 2014 20:00:32 GMT
Azalea could tell that the man wasn't exactly comfortable with kids, but she decided to be friendly anyways. Nodding, she said, "Yes, he's my son. I'm Azalea, and you are?" She always felt the need to clarify that Flynn was her son since more often then not they would think she was an older sister or babysitter or just about anything other than what she actually was. But she didn't blame them, really. She was very young to be a mother, and none of her other friends even had children yet. But she didn't regret having Flynn at such a young age. Being a mother gave her a purpose, so what did it matter how old she was?
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 8, 2014 3:35:27 GMT
Azalea leaned her head on Ryan's shoulder. "Thank you," she said quietly. Then she decided to just enjoy the silence and attempt to clear her head. Though, this definitely wasn't easy for Azalea. "What if I never find anyone like him ever again?" she asked, as if Ryan actually knew the answer. The future was something that terrified Azalea, and she never knew what to do when she thought about it. It was just a big black void that provided no answers to her questions.
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 7, 2014 10:57:33 GMT
"Mama, where we goin'," said the little three year old trotting along at his mother's feet. His whole body was still slightly unproportional to the size of his head, which made him look like a bobble head that was about to fall over all the time.
"Just for a walk, Flynn," Azalea told her son. Why she had decided to go on a walk, she wasn't sure. The fresh air seemed like a good idea, and maybe she might meet a few friends along the way. Though, the latter was less likely to occur since Azalea had become extremely withdrawn from society since Everson left her. But now she was trying to pull herself together. She knew that if she didn't, Starla would try to take Flynn away from her. That couldn't happen. The little boy was all she had left to care about.
As they walked through the streets of Twelve, Azalea made small talk with her son, telling stories of her childhood and trying to teach him about the world. Just after she'd finished a story about her mother, Flynn suddenly decided to make a friend. He ran up to a man who was standing alone and said "Hi!" waving his little hand at him.
Azalea rushed over. "Flynn, don't run away from me like that," she said as she picked her son up. "I'm so sorry, sir," she then said to the stranger.
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Alyssa
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Aug 17, 2016 21:43:27 GMT
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 7, 2014 2:38:18 GMT
Azalea sighed. "But what if I don't?" she said. "Every person who has ever cared about me is either gone or starting not to care anymore. Axel fucking hates me. Everson left me. Starla and Charity think I'm insane. Even my own father gave up hope for me. I'm a disaster, Ryan!" Sobs poured out of the petite girl, and she folded her knees to her chest, hugging them tight as if it would provide some sort of comfort.
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 7, 2014 2:21:25 GMT
"But how?" she said, looking up at Ryan again. "Everson is gone. He's gone and he's not coming back. What am I supposed to do without him?" Azalea wasn't much of an independent spirit. At least, not anymore. She used to be the kind of girl who didn't need anyone or anything to hold her up, but now? Well, now she couldn't be by herself without wanting to slit her wrists and end it all.
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 7, 2014 2:12:21 GMT
"Starla took him with her. She doesn't think I can take care of him," she said. Azalea put her head in her hands, trying to wrap her head around everything that was happening. "I just want everything to go back to how it was," she said to no one in particular. Her time with Everson was the only time in her life that she was ever truly happy. She thought she was happy with Axel, but she knew now that she was just telling herself something that wasn't true. Everson was different. He loved her, even with her flaws. But now he was gone, and now she was broken.
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 7, 2014 1:59:26 GMT
Azalea nodded, then released Ryan and headed back inside her home. "They all left me," she said as she sat down on the couch. "Even my own sisters down want to be around me. What's wrong with me, Ryan?" Azalea didn't understand why she kept turning people away. All she ever wanted was to be loved and love back. But her mental stability kept her from being able to do that.
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 6, 2014 2:42:21 GMT
Azalea sat in her bed sobbing for a long time, though she wasn't sure exactly how long it was. She thought about taking the knife from the kitchen and slitting her wrists, but the thought of Flynn kept bringing her away from that idea. He was the only thing she had left to live for. If she ever lost his for some reason, she'd be broken beyond repair.
She didn't hear the beating on the door at first, but then she snapped back to reality for long enough to hear Ryan calling to her. A wave of relief fell over her to have someone there with her. Racing to the door, she opened it and then practically threw herself into Ryan's arms. Sobs fell into the boy's shoulder, and every time Azalea tried to say anything, she couldn't pull herself together long enough to get the words out.
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Nov 6, 2014 1:54:59 GMT
Azalea hadn't slept in a bed by herself in four years. But now that Everson was gone, she was plagued with the night terrors that had always come for her before she'd fallen in love with the man. Only now they were so much worse than they ever had been before. Every night should would wake up clawing at her sheet and screaming or crying for someone to help her. Her sisters had gotten so tired of it that they'd gone to stay at a friends house for the night, and they'd taken Flynn with them. They tried to tell her that her anxiety was too bad for her to be caring for her son, but there wasn't any chance that she was going to let anyone take her from him. The little boy was the only thing she had left that really mattered to her. It may not have been what was best for him, but Azalea didn't care.
A scream ripped through the Rhodes household, and Azalea woke up sure that there was something attacking her. After realizing that she really was alone, she lie in her bed staring at the ceiling, breathing heavily. She turned to try and sleep, and reached out expecting there to be another body there, but all there was was empty space. The realization that Everson really was gone would hit her harder and harder every time it happened. This time it hurt so bad that Azalea felt like she wanted to die. Normally she would go down the hall and wake Starla up, but tonight she wasn't there. So Azalea took her phone from her nightstand and called the only person she could think of that might actually listen to her at this time of night. But Ryan didn't answer, so Azalea just started crying and rambling into his answering machine. "Ryan....He's gone....Everson's really gone...Why did he leave?....What did I do to make him leave me?...I just don't understand anything anymore...I want to be gone...I just want to be gone." Then the answering machine ran out of time, which left Azalea rambling to no one, unable to pull herself together.
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Alyssa
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Oct 11, 2014 21:49:52 GMT
That hit Azalea hard, thinking about how Starla might feel if he'd said that to her. "But that doesn't mean you won't ever be happy," she said. "It's time to let go of the past. Start looking forward." Azalea sounded a bit more serious now, but only because he'd practically said that he didn't care about her sister when Starla had almost no one outside of her family that she cared about.
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Oct 11, 2014 15:02:20 GMT
Azalea shrugged. "I know the feeling," she said. "I used to wonder why anyone would ever love me, but eventually I just stopped trying to explain it and I just decided to be grateful for it. And now I have a beautiful baby boy and a man who loves me and I'm happy, and I know that you can be too."
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Post by Azalea Rhodes on Oct 11, 2014 14:54:21 GMT
Azalea sighed. "I'm sorry," she said. "But you still have people who care about you. I know my sister does, and Starla isn't one to care about many people. You matter a lot to her." She wasn't sure what else she could say since this boy seemed pretty certain that he was worthless even if she tried to tell him that he wasn't.
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