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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 10, 2014 2:21:39 GMT
Nathaniel shrugged. Did he really wanna talk about his problems? He bit his lip and looked at the ground. Xavier had his own problems he'd have to deal with. Nathaniel just looked back at Xavier and shook his head,"It's complicated." Nathaniel said. He just smiled a half smile at Xavier not sure what else to say.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 7, 2014 11:37:37 GMT
"Shit." Nathaniel said crossing his arms. He didn't bother to talk about it brought of him just felt like Xavier wouldn't care and the other part was still in the mind set that he was living with his dad even though he wasn't. Nathaniel met his gaze with Xavier. "You?" Nathaniel asked. He smiled a soft smile even though he still felt like crying just felt like he shouldn't so he didn't.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 7, 2014 1:37:20 GMT
Nathaniel hugged Xavier tighter. "I'm just gla you're back." Nathaniel said quietly. He didn't bother lifting his head, he didn't want to move. He didn't want to tell Xavier all that wa wrong because it was too much. Nathaniel sighed quietly. "I love you." He said quietly b
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 6, 2014 22:19:40 GMT
Nathaniel couldn't help himself but wrap his arms around Xavier he wanted nothing more than to hug him. He buried his head in the crook of his neck. And he started to cry even more he wanted to stop he hated crying. He really hated crying he wanted to stop but couldn't figure out how. "I-I missed you," Nathaniel said quietly. He didn't know what else to say. He had to say something else but didn't have any idea on what to say.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 6, 2014 21:32:39 GMT
"Why didn't you yell me?" Nathaniel said more years coming out now. "I thought you didn't care and part of me thought you were dead," Nathaniel whispered the last word and instantly thought of Flax. He wanted to hug Xavier he wanted to bury his head in his shoulder and cry. He Almost did do but then decided he was supposed to be mad at Xavier which he was going to be even if he didn't want to be.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 6, 2014 21:05:22 GMT
"You didn't tell me anything. You just left me with no explanation." Nathaniel said quietly. He ran his hands through his hair nervously. "Why would you do that? I thought you loved me." Nathaniel said even quieter trying to make himself stop crying. He looked at Xavier his gaze finally meeting his. "You were upset because I went out one night without telling you where I was going and didn't come back...and you leave for what? A month? Two?" Nathaniel asked a nervous laugh bubbling off if his lips. "And you expected me to just go on with my life like you weren't there?" Nathaniel asked.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 6, 2014 20:46:16 GMT
Nathaniel was a little taken back by the hug but continued to hug Xavier because he missed Xavier's hugs. He don't want to hug he wanted to scream at him ask him why he left him. He wanted to know why everyone decide to leave him or why nobody seemed to care about him. Nathaniel tried making the hug last as long as possible. He wa afraid to admit he missed hugging. He missed being hugged even though he was rarely hugged as a child.
He finally let go. His words failed him but the tears streamed down his face an she didn't even try to stop them. "Y-you." Nathaniel couldn't get his words out and found himself just staring at Xavier. "You left me," Nathaniel said quietly. "You and everyone. You left m-e." Nathaniel repeated quietly. "You never bothered to call or to talk to me. You stopped caring. Why am I even here? Why was I so stupid to even bother?" Nathaniel asked himself. He backed up nearly falling down the stairs but didn't. He was tired of people leaving him. He was tired of feeling like no one cared about him.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Nov 6, 2014 20:09:54 GMT
Nathaniel didn't know what was wrong with his life. Parents were out searching for him, Roman was no where, Flax was dead ad the only person to help him through this was gone. Nathaniel remembered waking up to an empty house and did the same thing as always. Cook, do odd end jobs, come home, cry, nap, eat, sleep. It was the same thing every day. Nothing seemed to change except maybe he'd skip eating and would just sleep all day because he couldn't be bothered to get up to go do anything. He couldn't help but think to himself if there was anyone left to care.
He had no idea what led him to go see Xavier. Xavier had ignored him and barely even talked to him. Maybe Nathaniel just had false hope that everything would be okay. He got there and hesitated. What if Xavier was there? What If Xavier slammed the door in his face. He was terrified about what Xavier would do.
He couldn't even work up the courage to knock. He stood outside for a good five minuets which consisted of Jhm pacing and occasionally walking down the stairs only to walk back up. He began planning what he'd say in his head and then would decide it sounded to stupid. Eventually Nathaniel decided what the hell and raised his shaky hand up to Xavier's door and knocked.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 11, 2014 17:20:14 GMT
"I'm only ever happy when I'm with Xavier and even then I'm not always happy." Nathaniel said. There was never actually a time without Xavier that Nathaniel was happy. He was never happy as a child and If he was it was short lived because of his father.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 11, 2014 14:57:52 GMT
" I don't see why I've only ever been a nobody to nearly every body." Nathaniel said quietly. He looked down at the ground. He was impossible to help be cause he was so pessimistic.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 11, 2014 14:46:09 GMT
"The most that's happened to me is my parents abusing me because I just wasn't good enough. " Nathaniel said. "The best part of my life is my boyfriend. That's literally it. I don't even talk to my brother anymore." Nathaniel said quietly.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 10, 2014 20:43:59 GMT
"Yeah because my life is so important. " Nathaniel said quietly. He looked down at the ground. He was tired of everything. He just looked over at aka. He didn't even know what to say anymore.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 10, 2014 19:49:12 GMT
"It doesn't matter why would it fucking matter why does anything even matter anymore?" Nathaniel asked. His arms were still wrapped around himself and he was just sat there staring at the ground as if that would help him feel better.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 10, 2014 2:55:43 GMT
"My friend flax died in the games." Nathaniel whispered mainly because he didn't want it to be true. He couldn't belive it. How could he be dead? Nathaniel honestly felt like just screaming. He didn't know what to do anymore or how he was even supposed to feel.
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Post by Nathaniel Young on Oct 10, 2014 2:07:08 GMT
Nathaniel looked over at star la ' s sister that's all he knew about her he didn't even remember her name. "I'm fine." He said trying to sound like he was fine even though he really wasn't. He had no idea what else to say. He couldn't tell a complete stranger that he was completely upset and hated life because that's not what he was taught to do he was taught to be a man so he had to be one.
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