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Post by Jewel Carver on Dec 17, 2014 8:34:49 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero After the first day, she'd figured he was busy. After the first week, she began worrying he'd been injured. After the first month, she knew. She knew he wasn't coming back. He'd sworn it would be her and him against the world forever but he'd gone off to a War zone against her wishes and he'd left her again. Now, he wouldn't be back. She couldn't be sure what had actually happened to him but Jewel was fairly sure she was responsible for it. Maybe he was alive and just got tired of being abandoned by her? Maybe he found someone in Four better than her? She didn't know. To top it off, Adalyn had gone missing around the same time. That'd left her and Trigger with two kids each and no clue what to do. She'd dug her feet in and taken care of the kids, taking Alina to see her favorite uncle. Since her father's disappearance, the girl had clung to the giant even more than usual. It was enough to break Jewel's heart. She'd meant to be there for Trigger, she really had, but Jewel had become dangerously co-dependent on James. Without him, she wasn't even sure who she was anymore. Her one comfort was Damien. He'd been looking for James up till a few days ago when he returned saying there was simply no trace of him. He was great with the kids though, they loved their uncle. He was dating someone now too and Jewel really liked her. She was sweet and gentle. The opposite of Deja. She thought she'd be good for him. She was pregnant too. So Damien was going to be a father. That was exciting. If that had been the end of it all, she would have been fine. She could have gone on living. But no, there was more heartbreak in store. The Capitol wasn't done bending her to its will. When she'd refused to return to the Capitol and fight for them, Alina and Cas had been taken from her. She had no idea where they were and she'd spent weeks frantically searching for her babies. It was the final straw and after weeks of searching all for naught, Jewel was truly broken. She left her house in a daze and her next actions weren't entirely clear to even herself. She simply wasn't thinking straight. Truth be told, there was a bit of crazy in Jewel, from her father. It'd been there her whole life. It came out when she'd killed him and when she tried to kill herself, and tonight. Tonight... She wasn't really sure what she was doing tonight. What she ended up doing certainly hadn't been the plan. She'd wandered around aimlessly, glancing around the Capitol. The memories she had of this place were mostly of Damien, Hunter, and Trigger. A lot of Trigger, though. The Capitol was where they ran into each other more often than not. She'd continued walking around, drowning in memories of the past, of what she could have been. She could've been great. If she'd just sucked it up and been what her family wanted her to be, she could've been something. Now, she was just a broken shadow of a woman. Someone people whispered about when she walked by. They'd all witnessed her fall from greatness. The high and mighty Jewel Orsino, blonde Amazonian warrior, stumbling down the street with tear streaked cheeks. Her attention was draw when her foot was caught on a piece of metal. She stumbled looking down for a moment before she realized what she stumbled on. It was a train track. The realization came with a reinforcing whistle in the near distance. The iron beast glided in a easy curve and suddenly a dazzling white light shone on her. The light was mesmerizing to her, paralyzing. She turned and faced it, taking in a deep breath, her eyes closing. She was ready. Stay With Me, Until I Fall Asleep...
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Post by Trigger Mason on Dec 18, 2014 13:51:28 GMT
i wish we could turn back time Gone. The one thing she said she would never be, the promise he thought she'd never break. Adalyn was gone, without a trace- not a single clue hinting at where she may be. Days, weeks, and then a month of no word. She had just fallen off the face of the earth, disappeared in the midst of night. The odd thing about it was James was gone as well. At first, Trigger was beyond infuriated. He didn't wait over the span of time to grow sorrowful or desperate, the moment he walked into his childhood home, where Adalyn was meant to be staying for safety, and his mother hesitantly told him the news that she was just gone, Trigger just snapped- which was never a good thing. His arm swiped at the table, knocking over all of the glass china that had been haphazardly placed on the oak surface to the ground, the splintering shatter causing his children just a room away to burst into tears. He couldn't face them, not yet. How could he tell them that their mother was gone? That she didn't follow the rules and got herself kidnapped- or worse? He could hold the world on his shoulders, bare all the weight his father threw on him, take the heat from the President, but with his wife and the mother of his two infant children being yanked out from under him everything was sent crumbling. Trigger had never been normal. Stable wasn't in his vocabulary, sane was never his state of mind. He was a mess, and always would be. With Adalyn, he felt whole. She filled in all the little cracks and crevasses that riddled his skin- she made him a person. She changed him for the better. Now she was gone, and he was slowly caving in on himself. Every little hole that had once flourished with her light was splitting, growing. He was falling apart and not even the gentle pleads from his son or silent sobs from his daughter could hold him together. The only thing keeping him inside his silhouette was the last thing he ever wanted to see. It was the thing Adalyn had fought so hard to rid him of. His own shadow. Once upon a time, he'd been a guinea pig. Tested and mutated to the benefit of the Capitol. If they had a functioning human with the strength of a mutt, they'd be beyond unstoppable. Little ole Trigger was their specimen. They'd put him through vigorous training, kept him locked in isolation for months at a time, and injected him with various strands of DNA until he was indestructible. The only side effect was he could control it. The darkness brewing inside of him would take over, warp his sanity and draw on his energy. He would change, shift into a new persona. Trigger would be locked in a cage, having to sit back and watch while someone took over his body. His eyes would shade into a neon green hue, and glow eerily- that's how other people knew he wasn't the same, but he knew it would happen before it did. This shadow would stalk him, purr in his ears and grip at his skin- and only he could see it. The thing was a nuisance, his conscious embodied in menacing form. He'd beaten it once, learned to dull out the dragging tones in his head, but now he was too weak and honestly couldn't be bothered. That's what made him more dangerous this time than the last. He didn't care that it was back and was too self-consumed with anger to fight it off- making him utterly deadly. His urge to be normal was what kept it off, with that gone he was ruthless. A month in time. Sage was pushing towards one, Tatum barely three, and there was still no sign of his wife. Trigger searched the whole of Panem up and down, even had some spies set in Thirteen check around, but nothing. Either she was playing some sick game or she was dead. Didn't matter which, he kept looking, and wouldn't stop- because even as enraged as he was, he couldn't give up. Until month two came rolling along. The night of his daughter's first birthday, he got the news. A body was found, identified, and being shipped to his current address to be dealt with. His wife was dead. His kid's mother was dead. He should have been shocked, but it was just all too surreal. He had to get out. Having kissed the top of his slumbering children's heads and hugged his mother tightly (his father and Rhett were off in One trying to pick up some trail on the location of the Carver's, for Jewel, James, and their kids had been uprooted not too long after Adalyn- and he could only hope they weren't gone too) he set out of the house. It was sunrise when he'd left, but by the time he'd reached the edge of the Capitol where the trains zoomed in it was night fall. His foot slammed against the metal railing on the ground, a familiar darkness looming just out of eye sight as he groaned. The shadow was relentless, craving on destruction and turmoil. Just as he was sinking into the sadistic thoughts clouding his mind, a whistle drew his attention elsewhere. Head snapping towards the direction of the sound, he spotted a train, the beam of light casting a feminine shadow. Normally, in this state of mind, he would have just let person have it their way. If they wanted to be flattened, go for it, but this wasn't a random citizen in the path of the train. This was Jewel. He could tell from here, no doubt about it. As much as his mind screamed at him to let her suffer for all she'd done to him, how she abandoned him for a man who was now gone, the message didn't get to his sprinting legs. Deep down it'd always been her, and everyone knew it. As much as he pushed himself to hate her, as much as the shadow pulled him back- Jewel kept him on his feet. He wouldn't let her die. At speeds not even he knew he could reach, Trigger plowed into the girl, saving her in the knick of time. Toppling to the adjacent side of the tracks, he held himself above her as the train sped past, his arms supporting him as he glared at her with disbelief. How could she part from Alina and Castiel? How could she just erase herself from her brother's life? How could she give up so easily? How dare she leave him alone to suffer? "What are you doing?" He growled, anger steaming in his eyes, a faint greenish glow burning at the back of his hazel irises. Still leaning over her, he felt a familiar palm on his back, urging him to just suffocate her- but he couldn't. He wouldn't. "Answer me!" Trigger was beyond infuriated, the hatred in his heart only worsening with her silence. Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Dec 18, 2014 22:36:18 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel had braced herself for the impact, a certain kind of thrill running through her. The thrill of danger. It'd been something she was once addicted to. She'd thrown herself into the middle of wars, battles, fights. She do anything to chase that thrill, once upon a time. She’d lost that thrill, being with James, being a mother. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was good for her, the way she calmed. She was still a spitfire but she wasn’t a firestorm anymore. James had tamed her. He'd been good for her in the worst part of her life. She was spiraling out of control without him.
The impact she felt wasn’t the one she’d expected.
Jewel opened her eyes, her heart racing and pounding in her chest. Her breathing was heavy as she looked up into a face that was etched into her heart. She was stunned. He was the last person she expected to see. The last person she wanted to see.
She hated running into him like this. She hated the way he looked down on her, like everyone else in her life. She could see the disappointment in his eyes when he looked at her, the hatred, the contempt. He always avoided touching her like she was some dirty, unclean thing. He never even looked at her when he found her crying. If there was a person in this whole world she didn’t want to look more broken in front of, it was him.
His tone was angry, full of fate, accusatory. The dark look on his features froze the words on her lips, her mind racing as she stared up at him for a moment. She took in his angry features, a faint glowing in his iris that caused her stomach to twist, giving her the ability to speak once again.
“I-I don’t know… I was just walking…” She stumbled over her words. It was the truth, though. She hadn’t been planning on doing that. She glanced away from him, unable to meet his gaze. Her mind had cleared finally and now she felt shame under his gaze. She didn’t want to die, not really. She didn’t want to leave Damien. She didn’t want to leave her kids. She didn’t want to leave him and she wasn't ready to give up on James. If he came back just to find out she'd stepped out in front of a train, she didn't want to think about what that would do to the family.
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Post by Trigger Mason on Jul 1, 2015 6:16:51 GMT
i wish we could turn back time The shadow was persistent. An endlessly nagging voice whispering in his ear- attempting to persuade him that it was easier this way. A fictional palm pressing harder and harder at the base of his spine in an encouragement to just smother the blonde- to kill her for all that she'd put him through. In reality, it would be simpler to just blow out the flame in her eyes. No one would know, she was already presumed dead along with the rest of the Carver's. It wasn't like she deserved to walk so freely after this stunt. Her husband was missing, her kids had been taken, and here she was ready to end it all before Trigger, who was known to he eagerly suicidal, had even had the chance to think about it.
Jewel still had hope, there was still that chance that James and her kids were out there, and yet she was just letting it all wash away in the breeze of a speeding train.
Trigger had lost it all. There wasn't a light at the end of his tunnel. Adalyn had been slaughtered in his name, because of his status under the President, and left him unstable with two young children in his quivering hands.
So yeah, he was a little pissed that she was throwing herself away like this when she'd always been the one he turned to when he needed to be strong. Ever since they met, she'd been his rock. She gave him hope that there was something more for him out there than being poked and prodded and mutated like he was nothing but a slab of meat and not a human being. Jewel gave him value, but now that all meant nothing if she was just going to steal it all back and bury it with herself.
Slamming his fist against the left side of her face as the tail end of the train sped past, Trigger did his best to mute the shadow and focus on his words. His eyes retained the viridescent glow, intensifying even as his anger flourished. Lips curling back into a snarl, he glared at her turned face, her shame feeding his fire as he growled out, "You don't know? You were just going to walk in front of the train, and what? What good would come out of that, Jewel? Come on, tell me! The big Orsino finally met her match, hm? And she was going to take the weak way out, yeah? At least you can die, at least you can end the suffering!" His voice climaxed before breaking off into a disbelieving whisper, "I used to look up to you before you chose him, now look at you. A sad excuse for a girl. You had it all and I envied that. That you had a family and a life and freedom," his words taper off into a rough chuckle, menacing and vile, "Now I'd rather stay locked in that cage than take anything you have to offer. You're weak, Jewel. Nothing but a shell of that girl because you let him in. He let you down, and you allowed that to happen." Who else would he be referring to other than James? Who else did he hold as much spite in his heart for other than the man who stole the love of his life? He loved Adalyn with all he had, all he knew how to, but she'd never completely fill the hole left by the woman who'd taught him what love was in the first place.
Leaning down further so his lips brushed the ear she left exposed when she had turned away, Trigger whispered with an underlying tone of hate, at both her and himself, that mingled undoubtedly with desire, "But that wouldn't had happened if you'd just chosen me, and you know it. I'd have kept you safe, you'd have been happy and so would your family. They loved me, and mine loved you. You wouldn't have been exiled the way you had and I could have shaved off a few years of torture if you had just let me in the way you so eagerly let him." Pausing to drag his cheek over her in an oddly gentle motion, he curiously murmured against her flesh, "What was it that made you pick James? Did I scare you? Or was it that he was normal and you could never bring yourself to love a monster like me? Or," he said more viciously, pulling away from her face and leaning back to peer at her cocked head, "Was it that you knew I'd always be there? That no matter how mad I was, no matter how badly you betrayed me- that I'd still love you? That I was just your back-up plan if things went wrong?" He spat the last words, his fist slamming once again beside her head to get a rise out of her, to gain her attention.
A strange tone rolled through his words , making them strangely solemn as his gaze shifted jut beyond her to glare at the shadow tempting him into the dark corners of his mind, "And things got bad, didn't they. James ran off, your kids were taken, and you see it fit that you stop trying," and this is where the tides turned, the hate and anger draining from his body as sorrow and dread spilled in. The force of reality smashed into him with the weight of the train Jewel had been yearning for. It hadn't really sunk in until then. He had nothing to try to get back, she was really gone this time. With tears filling his eyes steadily, but yet to fall, he choked out around the vast array of emotions stuffing his being, "But at least yo-you have something to fight for. They're still out there, and you're giving up. Adalyn is de- my wife is dead and I have to be strong for my kids and I, I just- I can't!" The first sob hit him hard, making him fall back off of Jewel and the shadow to fade back into the recesses of his mind. The second brought his knees to his chest, his arms wrapping around them as he buried his head- his mop of hair he hadn't bother to keep up with hiding him from her prying eyes. The third brought on endless babbling, constantly degrading himself as he rocked back in forth.
His words were muffled against his flesh, mindlessly spilling from his lips as he sank into the depression Adalyn's death had left behind, "I'm supposed to be strong. I'm supposed to be undefeated and I can't, I can't even face my kids. I can't do this alone. I need, I need her." His sobs only worsened, for controlling his emotions had never been his forte.
"Wh-what am I go-going to do?" Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Jul 1, 2015 18:06:56 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel was shocked out of her silence by the sheer anger she saw in him. She could feel his muscular body tensed just above hers but she couldn’t bring herself to even look up at him. Shame coursed through her body, leaving her feeling weak and alone. James was dead, of that she was sure. But it was true that she still had Damien, Trigger, her niece and nephew, and there was a chance she could find her children, if they were still alive. She had been doing fine until they’d taken her kids. That had been it for her. How was she supposed to continue on, completely alone? Trigger at least had his children still.
She trembled beneath him, adding more to her shame. There was once a time when she had never been afraid of anyone. But it wasn’t his anger that she was afraid of, it was his hatred and scorn. She simply couldn’t take it. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, warm tears leaking out of the corners. His words cut into her already broken self, easily cutting past the crumbled shield that had once kept her strong. She was tired of being the strong one, of carrying everyone else. She simply couldn't do it anymore. She needed someone like she had never needed them before. She needed someone like Trigger had needed someone when Jewel showed him what love was. It was funny how they'd come so far, become so different.
Her voice was soft, undeniably broken, "You're right... I'm broken, empty, alone. The shell of a woman I once was. That's what happens when you put your faith in the wrong person..." She trailed off, pain coursing through her body with every word that left his lips. It was unbearable, to have him of all people think so lowly of her. She knew that there was nothing to do for it though. He had hated her for so long, nothing would change now.
She cringed away from the shame she felt, feeling his lips brushing against her exposed ear. The motion was oddly comforting in the situation they were in and it gave her a moment to think past her own fear and self loathing. His next words were spoken in a voice thick with emotions. Hatred, definitely, but something else there as well, under the words. She knew Trigger, even after all this time. She would always know him and for some reason, the angry tone gave her hope. She couldn't say why, there was just something about it that let her know everything would work out. He wouldn't leave her on her own, not after everything. She felt the oddly gentle motion, the soft nuzzling of flesh against her cheek, bringing her further out of her shell-shock. She tilted her head to look up into his dark features, breath catching in her throat for a long moment.
"It wasn't any of that. Trigger, you've never scared me, try as hard as you have, and I've always loved you. And you're more stupid than I was back then if you think you were ever a back up plan." Her voice was still soft, tears trickling down her cheeks. She wanted to reach up and brush them away. She hated how weak she looked in front of him. It was always you, her broken mind screamed at him. But she didn't say anything, she couldn't. There were no words that would turn back time and make things right between them. She knew that there was no going back with them. She'd broken things between them and now there was no way they could ever repair them.
And then things were falling apart rapidly, her heart breaking with every breath he drew, and then every breath he drew was a sob. He fell back, well away from her and Jewel sat up slowly, all thoughts of herself forgotten. This was her Trigger. The insecure and vulnerable sobbing boy she'd fallen in love with back in the Capitol as teenagers together. It was like all the years between then and now had fallen away and Jewel knew what she had to do. She moved slowly closer to him and then reached out to him with a shaky hand. She hesitated for a moment and then gently stroked his hair. And she was the Jewel of years ago, wanting to take away his pain and comfort him.
"Trigger, it's okay. We'll get through this. I promise... I'm sorry. You'll be okay though. You're strong enough for this. You're stronger than me. You always have been..." She murmured, trying to be comforting. "I promise."
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Post by Trigger Mason on Jul 3, 2015 5:29:24 GMT
i wish we could turn back time He heard her words through his haze. Her mumbled admission to the way she’d crumbled, the way she’d let the world slip through her fingers one loss at a time. Her brisk explanation on how idiotic he was for thinking the way he did, but leaving the details as to why out. But he didn’t let it soak in, he didn’t actually hear what she said.
No, Trigger was too far away for that, too deep in his own head- his own memories- to be in the present with Jewel. The train was gone, the dark of the night was gone, and the moment in its entirety was gone. All he saw were trees. Browns, and greens, and just the slightest hint of blue where the leaves didn’t quite cover the sky with their flimsy expanse. He saw a bow split through the air, traced it back to its origin. He saw Adalyn. As young as the day he met her and stubborn as she could be. He watched her fire another shot at a target in the distance, felt his feet carry him towards her defiantly. He heard her speak, eyes caught on the movement of her lips as they threw banter back and forth- and then his mouth was on hers. It was all so sudden, but oh so safe. Another kiss shared, a walk to the local diner, and then words swapped over lunch. He learned about her all over again through aged eyes, replaying the day they met, but reliving it with the knowledge of its outcome.
A flashback. His memories playing back to him as he broke down- sobbing inaudibly to himself as he parted ways from his imagination, watching Adalyn walk off, only to run back into her in District Two. They paraded the streets as if they owned them, flirting and touching, and then they bought two dogs on instinct. Ambrosia and Percy, one a gentle tan splashed with white, the other coated in grey, smothered in a fluffy coat. He learned about her hobbies. The endless picture taking, the scribbled words and low hum. They were at peace, and the sensation was weird to his mind. When was the last time he’d been that calm.
A trip to Four, and things turned wrong. A simple boat ride led to a fight between lovers and siblings. James versus Trigger, a relentless battle that seemed to never end. Shoes were thrown, words were cursed, and hate boiled underneath their flesh, making everything from then on out a struggle.
Love was made. Minds were lost. Bonds were broken.
It had been a rocky road, more downs than ups, but he didn’t regret the journey. He has a son and a daughter, people who wholly depend on him to keep them safe. He has a family, a mother and father and brother who finally see him as equal and not something to poke at. The only thing he’s lacking is the one thing he couldn’t afford to lose. No matter how bad things got, Adalyn had been his glue. She kept him together and sane, and now with her gone? The monster he’d been made into was creeping back into control. He wasn’t trustworthy anymore. He didn’t have reigns on the darkness he was capable of creating.
He wasn’t himself.
And then Jewel touched, breaking through the fog in a way words can’t. It broke through the walls of the past he was endlessly reliving, and brought him back. With a shaky gasp, Trigger pulled his knees in tighter to himself as he shook his head against her praises and denied his strength- how could a man of his size and status still be considered strong as he sat bawling beside a train track? He couldn’t do this alone, not without Adalyn to keep him on his feet and away from the dark pits in his mind.
But maybe he wasn’t doing this alone. Despite his ever confliction feelings towards Jewel, he knew she’d always have his back, just as he’d always have hers. It was how they grew up, interlinked from years upon years of depending each other on comfort- the only difference being that Trigger leaned more dependently on the interaction with her than she’d ever imagine, and some things never change. It was a simple brush of her palm against his clothed skin, but it meant the world to him. Gave him hope and put just a shred of light at the end of his tunnel. Maybe things would be okay. So he leaned into her touch, crumpling into her heat as his sobs tapered off into choked breaths. He didn’t pull out of his ball, but he didn’t yank out of her space as he once would have when James and Adalyn were still around. He’d had so many walls up around him when it came to the blonde, and they were easily dropping around him as he whimpered with the worst of revelations. Jewel was all he really had left.
They were both adults, worn thin by all that life has thrown at them, but somehow still here. Despite it all, they lived, though not quite conquering and achieving the way they’d once wished, they were still breathing.
It was not ideal, but life worked in circles. The two were back where they began, depending on each other to make it through the hardships.
Whining softly, he murmured into his arm a gentle, “I’m sorry.” Trigger didn’t know what exactly he was apologizing for. The past, the present, or the future. Maybe it all. Maybe that he was what she was left with.
Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Jul 4, 2015 18:20:26 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel watched as her touched seemed to snap something in the large man. To her overwhelming relief, he didn't push her away or get angry with her. Instead he seemed almost to melt into her. It truly was like it had been years before in their teen years.
Encouraged, Jewel wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, craving the comfort of touch just as much as she wanted to give it to him. She was no delicate girl, standing well taller than most men with a lithe and muscled body, but she'd forgotten how he dwarfed her when they were together like this. Compared to most men, she was an amazon, but she was nearly engulfed by the crumbling mountain of a man before her.
"Shh, I'm here. I know I'm the last person you want by your side right now but I promise I'll be here. We've got a long and hard road ahead of us but I know that we can do this. Just like we used." She promised to him, tilting her head to try and look at him in the eyes. She couldn't bring herself to truly smile at him although she tried. She hadn't truly smiled except in front of her kids since James had died. She'd gone through all the steps. She'd been in denial, angry, hurt, sad, depressed, and then empty. The only thing that had kept her on her feet had been her kids but now looking at Trigger, she realized how selfish she had been being. Her life wasn't over because James's was. She had to live for their children, her niece and nephew, her brother and his unborn kid, and she had to live for Trigger, because if she didn't... who would?
Looking up at him, she could tell now that he needed someone as much as she needed him. At that moment, she decided that she'd be there for him through this. "Come on, Trigger. We should get out of here..." She started to get up and for the first time felt a twinge in her leg. She gasped quietly as her leg didn't seem to want to support her weight and buckled. Red and sticky liquid covered the calf of her left leg. It seemed that when Trigger had tackled her out of her haze, literally, that she'd landed against a rugged rock, splitting the flesh of her leg.
She cleared her throat lightly, "I'm- uh, gonna need your help.." She murmured, slightly embarrassed. She hadn't really been eating or sleeping well recently and her body was weak already. Her leg wasn't going to be supporting her anytime soon.
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Post by Trigger Mason on Jul 4, 2015 20:43:55 GMT
I WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME
Oh, she couldn’t have been more wrong. For years and years, all Trigger had ever wanted was Jewel at his side. Somewhere deep in his mind, that had always been what he yearned for- even with Adalyn at his side, even in his darkest moments of hatred. Jewel had been all he’d known for so long, the only consistency in his botched childhood. She’d been the light in his life, the hope for something more than what his father had forced upon him. When she’d extinguished that flame with a lousy apology before flinging herself into James’ arms, Trigger had instinctively thrown on a mask of hate as a defense. Always playing defense, not ready to let her back into his life because it’d bring pain, and he already had enough of that. It was just easier to play the bad guy than give into his weakness. Play the part of the boy who’d moved on, and eventually it’d become less of a role, but still never the full truth. He tried, he really did, to move on from the feelings that never blossomed into anything more- not even into a kiss- but he couldn’t. It’d be giving up, it’d be losing the only thing that had kept him sane- the only thing that’d kept him from turning one of the guns he’d trained with on himself. No matter how hard he tried, how much he wanted to just let her go, Trigger just couldn’t bring himself to cut that cord in his heart.
So when she scorned herself for being the only person he had left to help him through this mess, he just brushed it off. It didn’t pain him to have her, he just hoped that went both ways, because lord knows what a mess he’d made out of their relationship in an attempt to separate himself from those pressing emotions. What went wrong between them was on him. He drew that line and he pushed her back. It was his fault, and he planned on earning her forgiveness in any way he could- but first, he’d have to voice why he did what he did and he didn’t see himself being able to do just that anytime soon. Not with Adalyn’s death looming over his head and the responsibility of his children ever present.
Leaning into the lock of her arms around him, Trigger took in as much comfort as he could out of his old friend’s touch, silently calming himself into a shell of the man he was. If he could just pretend to be okay, he would be. That’s how it’d always been hadn’t it?
But then she spoke, wiggling against him as she tried to rise. Then, and only then, had he pulled himself out of his cocoon, face red from his tears and harsh breathing, but also set with deep concern. Rather than speaking or asking, he took one look at the blood coating her leg and began to rise. Once on his feet, he scooped her up like it was nothing, holding her tight against his chest as his arms looped under her knees and behind her back. Glancing down at her face, he mumbled- still unsure of how he really felt about this whole ordeal, “I’m taking you home.”
Though it wasn’t home because it was where his family lived, but because once he walked in with Jewel in his arms, he’d finally be accepted.
Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Jul 4, 2015 21:15:34 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel glanced up at Trigger as he stood, although that wasn't entirely accurate. She'd never taken her eyes off of him. Her throat went dry as he reached for and she had to stop herself from trying to move away from him. This had never been their relationship. She had never been cradled in his arms like this but she couldn't deny how safe and comfortable it made her. She almost didn't trust her reaction to his touch at that moment, vulnerable as she was, and she had to stop herself from nuzzling against the warmth of his broad chest. She'd never felt so small and delicate, so protected.
Her reactions troubled her and she stayed stock still in his embrace, swallowing past the lump that had formed in her throat. She glanced up at him as he talked, her emerald eyes, more listless than they had ever been, nodding silently in his arms. She wasn't sure exactly where "home" was. It could be a multitude of places. His apartment, her apartment, his family's home, her family's home. Anywhere, really. He didn't say anything more and that was almost fitting. There had been so many things left unsaid and so many untrue things said.
But as they walked an all too familiar route, she suddenly became aware of where they were headed. She'd walked this road before, on business and personal visits, so long ago now that it seemed almost like a different life. They were headed to the family home of the Mason's. Jewel felt her stomach knot slightly. She didn't want to face Trigger's family, especially his father, like this. She wasn't comfortable being so vulnerable in front of anyone except Trigger. She didn't want anyone else to see her in her weak state. With Trigger, she'd become set on regaining her former glory and finding her children. She'd already become determined to start training and practicing tomorrow, eating healthy and getting back in shape so she could do whatever she had to get her children back. Trigger had given her that resolve and she didn't want to embarrass him in front of his family.
So when the house suddenly loomed in front of them, she tugged lightly on his shirt, drawing his attention downward.
"Let me walk in, please. Your family, I don't want them to see this..." She breathed out, deep green pools dropping downwards in shame. All of this was almost too much, Jewel didn't know if she could take being carried in by Trigger in this state. His family would lose all the respect they'd ever had for her in one short moment. She glanced up slowly at his face again, almost afraid to see the reaction to her words. She wasn't sure but she felt as though she'd disappointed him as well. Actually, she was pretty sure she had. She didn't want him to see any more of her shame.
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Post by Trigger Mason on Jul 6, 2015 11:11:34 GMT
i wish we could turn back time The trek back to his house was overwhelmingly silent. Not a peep from either of the two, each stock still aside from the shuffling of Trigger’s feet and the occasional twitch from Jewel in his arms. In any other situation, the hold would have almost been intimate, but now, with them both so tense from not only their interaction prior, but with the load on their shoulders from their partner’s deaths and disappearances, well- it was just extremely awkward. Not letting himself dwell on the situation at hand, Trigger let his thoughts drift to what could have been. Would he have had another kid with Adalyn? Would it have been a boy or girl? Look more like him or her? Or maybe the perfect blend. Maybe they’d have gotten another dog. Maybe they’d have moved out of Four and headed for Seven or Eleven- somewhere peaceful. Maybe Trigger would have been okay, no monsters and no doubts. Maybe they’d have moved on from their past and flourished in their future. It had all seemed so promising then, but now? Now he was holding the girl who owned his heart while breaking down mentally over the girl who’d given him what no one else would while walking to the place where he was never welcome.
His world had flipped upside down and he wasn’t strong enough to keep it upright, no matter how hard he pushed to get it to spin back over.
So he took what he could get. His wife was gone, his life was at the mercy of his children, and he’d already silently vowed to devote as much time as he could spare to get back his niece and nephew. This was his life now. He had to fill the role of the protector once again, and shove the shadows of his past back down into the recesses of his mind.
Moving on is the only way he’ll survive. If he doesn’t let go now, he never will, and he’ll be six feet under right along his princess.
With even steps, he kept his lips pursed and eyes ahead. The quicker they got back to his parents’ house, the quicker they can talk about what they’re going to do, what they think of the situation, what they feel. With Adalyn deceased and James off the grid, what did that mean for them? Was if fate finally playing it’s hand, or just a cruel joke to play with his heart once again?
Shaking his head once to clear his mind and shift his bangs out of his line of sight, Trigger huffed out a sigh and quickened his pace some as he felt her blood seep through the fabric of his coat. Not more than ten minutes later he was approaching his door, and Jewel was protesting in his arms. Stubborn as ever, she insisted on playing the solider, on being stronger than she was- and frankly, he wasn’t having it. There was no risking her health so she could make an impression. With his lips pressed taut, he gave her a single jerk of his head before speaking softer than he’d intended, “No. It’s just my mom, and I- I’ve got this. Trust me.” Not letting her dwell on that, he urged the door open and was spilling into the house’s chilled air with grace. His mom was upon them in a moment, worry striking her agedly beautiful features as she caught sight of the blood and Jewel’s paling skin.
Keeping his promise, he kept Jewel’s honor the best he could. Stepping further into the house, he kept his voice low and falsely explained, “Mom, she needs help. I was- she saved me. I was going to…” He let it drift, his mom didn’t have to think too hard on what he meant. Suicide attempts had been frequent the past few years. “I was trying to blow off steam, and then there was a train, and I just- she’s gone mom, and I can’t. The kids- I,” he shook his head, closing his eyes tightly as he turned his face away. “Jewel had pushed me out of the way before it was too late, and got herself clipped in the fall, and the least I could do was carry her here, ya know? Fix her, ma.” Squinting down at his mother with tears shining in his eyes, he accepted the resigned expression that masked her face. She nodded sadly, and motioned for them to follow her to the bathroom where the supplies were- and he complied with ease.
A simple role reversal, no biggie. It kept Jewel looking like the warrior she once was and Trigger? Well, they were used to him disappointing them. Nothing new.
Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Jul 6, 2015 16:56:57 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel's head was spinning and she couldn't quite make up from down or left from right. It was like her life had taken her and threw her into some other life that she didn't quite understand. She had no idea what she was going to do without James, she had no idea where her life was going from here. Her only solace was that she was sure Trigger would be going there with her. Perhaps this was how their lives were supposed to play out. She'd done a lot in her life that she regretted, things she'd go back and change if she could. Then there were things that maybe weren't the decisions she was supposed to make but she'd never change, like James. He'd given her two beautiful children and she was more determined than ever to get them back somehow.
She almost opened her mouth, as if to argue with him but the gentleness of his words stopped her. Jewel decided to trust him, just quietly nodding her head instead.
As soon as they stepped into the house, Trigger's mother appeared, fawning over Jewel with her beautifully aged features. In her daze, Jewel almost didn't notice what Trigger was saying. When his words made it through to her, her head snapped up and she stared at him, eyes widened and mouth forming a little "o." She didn't understand why he was switching up the story, making himself out to be the victim instead of her hero. She glanced down away from him, emerald pools brimming with tears which she quickly blinked away. She was done crying. She'd been doing it far too much lately.
Trigger's mother finished taking care of her leg and Jewel found that she was exhausted. She was forced into a bed and was passed out from pure exhaustion before she even realized what was really happening. She slept for a while before waking up in a cold sweat, heart pounding and a scream on her lips. She still had nightmares of the Capitol torture she was forced to endure sometimes. She sighed heavily and stood, testing out her injured limb which was feeling much more sturdy already. Peeling off her damp and dirty clothing, she wrapped the light sheet from her bed around herself and stepped out on the cool balcony, the silver moon bright and shinning above her. She closed her emerald eyes and sighed softly again, feeling the cool air rush over her, cooling her down from her nightmare.
Jewel clutched the white sheet in one hand, the whiteness of the sheet combined with her pale skin and golden hair made it seem as though she was almost glowing. The moonlight washed over her skin, hiding the bruises that covered her body, the bags under her eyes, the gauntness of her cheeks. The silver light took her back years, making her look like the strong and beautiful goddess she'd once believed herself to be.
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Post by Trigger Mason on Jul 7, 2015 6:06:43 GMT
i wish we could turn back time It was like time moved in slow motion. Each detail passed by at a lazy pace, each second imprinted into his memory as the events took place. It was like he was living the moment through someone else’s eyes, watching himself as he carried the paling woman into the closest bathroom, as he eased her up on to the counter and stood behind her with the firmness of the wall. His arms gripped around her in a tight, almost loving manor, trying his best to comfort her as the bottom of her jeans were torn away from the wound. Silent coos where whispered into her ear and gentle caresses to her quivering arms were stolen when his mother’s attention was caught on the bloody mess before her. He wasn’t acting like himself, a mental block preventing him from thinking too hard and letting him just give into his instincts to make it okay. So that’s what he did. With soothing touches and a lull of humming, Trigger paid less attention to the disappointed glint to his mother’s eyes, knowing she was more than displeased with what he’d said went down, and more to the way Jewel’s breathing calmed. Once the blonde was pacified, he let out a soft sigh, and stayed strong for the rest of the ride. It had its ups and downs- where Jewel was either biting back moans as the needle dug into her flesh to stitch her back into place, or where she was sinking off into a peaceful haze as the morphine took of the bite of the pain.
With a bandaged positioned over the injury, and his old friend falling asleep in his hold, Trigger was ushered out of the room and down the hall to one of the many spare rooms in the Mason mansion. Once she was tucked into bed and dozing safely, he fought back the urge to place a kiss to her temple- like he would have done to Adalyn or his children- and left the room. Rather than scurrying off to the dark hold of his own room, he found himself cuddled into the queen-sized mattress Tatum and Sage had been sharing for their stay in the Capitol. His arms draped over the two slumbering children, legs drawn up close under them. The only hint that they were aware that he was even there was his son curling in closer to his chest and his daughter mumbling a string of infant nonsense. A small smile quirked the corner of his lips, and he fell into a sleep more peaceful than he would have imagined given the day he had. A birthday party gone wrong. One phone call, one walk into the depths of the Capitol, and look where he was. He lost his wife, but gained back someone he never thought he could really have. So yeah, he slept in a serene silence.
But it didn’t last long. No good things ever do.
A scream echoed throughout the second floor of the vast building. Not loud enough to reach his mother, or stir his children, but enough to spook Trigger out of his dreamless rest. Easing himself out of bed without waking either of his babies, he rushed out of the room in nothing but a pair of loose black boxers and made a mad dash for Jewel’s room. Breathless upon arrival, his heart thumping more from worry as to what was wrong than the run itself, his initial reaction was confusion. Jewel stood on the balcony joined to the room, with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her. The way the moonlight danced over her skin drew him in, promising the girl he’d fallen for, but he knew that once he got close enough that the illusion would end. He’d hand over the imagined goddess for the broken damsel, and it was a deal he was willing to make.
On less than silent feet, he made his way over to her, stepping gingerly on the balcony, but yet to speak his presence. Eyes raking over her once from head to toe, he let out a soft sigh. Screw it. He’d take what he could get. Be it fate or a cruel joke, he was going to finally give in.
Raising one hand with a placid mask upon his face, he hooked his fingers under the cloth, the backs of them rubbing against her lukewarm flesh. “Jewel,” he mewled, lust and desire overcoming his tone. It was a weak plead, begging her with just her name to give in and let it go. They were both so broken, “Let me fix it.”
Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Jul 7, 2015 15:53:31 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel heard his heavy footsteps coming up from behind her. She knew she'd scared him from the way he'd come bursting into the room. He must have heard her scream. She felt guilty for that but she couldn't deny that she was happy and relieved to see him. She had nightmares every night that she was alone. Dreams that haunted her both awake and asleep, demons that grew within herself.
She turned towards the man, breath leaving her when she felt his warm touch against her skin. Emerald eyes gazed upwards, tracing the planes of his face. Was this how it was meant to be? The two of them depending on each other when they could depend on no one else, holding up the other, building each other up into some semblance of a human again? She couldn't be sure, but she felt as if it was. They were meant for each other, it seemed.
The world had always meant to break Jewel Orsino, but at least it'd given her Trigger to piece her back together again.
Jewel. The plead rung in her ears, his voice deep and husky with emotion. The rawness of it sent her heart beating like a caged dove, stealing away any chance she had of catching her breath. She stared into his dark eyes, unable to say anything in response, her voice abandoning her in this moment she thought would never come. They'd always danced around each other it seemed. One circling the other, sometimes coming close enough to give the other hope enough to reach out. They'd always been objects of desire to the other, always just out of reach. But it seemed their dance was at an end. Could this really be happening?
Let me fix it. His voice washed over her, emerald eyes closing. They were two broken beings cut from the same cloth, let me fix it. Yes, she felt her whole being react, yearning for that, flesh tingling and hair raising. And let me fix you.
Jewel leaned forward, sheet dropping away from her body like a white veil, flesh pressing against his. On tiptoes, she leaned forward, eyes still closed, and pressed her full lips against his in a soft, questioning, manner.
And with that motion, all doubts were forgotten. Only her and Trigger existed in that moment.
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Post by Trigger Mason on Jul 7, 2015 19:31:03 GMT
i wish we could turn back time It was unexpected. He'd seen a fist swinging his way as he offered to sleep with her at a time like this or even a string of profanities cursing his existence, but a kiss? The one thing he'd wanted since he'd figured out what love really was? With the one person, the only person, who'd given him hope in the darkest of times? She was his light in the dark, and right now? The flame on their shared torched reached its peak. Desperate was the easiest way to describe how Trigger's lips moved across the pliant mouth under him. This was what he'd wanted for so long- as a child longing for her presence while in solitary, as a teen squirming in her hold as they danced, as a young man yearning for her to return an inkling of his love- and he was taking advantage of it while he had the chance. Who knows, maybe this was the only opportunity he'd ever get to finally have Jewel as his own. He wasn't backing down this time. Giving into his primal need, he let his tongue ease on between her parted lips, finally getting a taste of the girl he'd wanted for so long. Eagerly mapping out the cavern of her mouth, he needed more. So he took. Raising one hand to tangle in her mess of golden waves, Trigger placed the width of his palm against her lower back. A simple urging weight, the pressure teasing and filled with promise- and he like nothing, he was easing her bare chest into his. The only thing separating them now was the thin cloth of his boxers. They'd made it this far, it'd be up to her to halt the progress of their actions because there was no way he was stopping now. Moaning fervently into the kiss, his fingers curled into her hair, taking control of the liplock as he positioned her the way he wanted, cocking her head back without her consent. The hand at her waist explored the heated skin he'd seen flashes of, but was never to touch- no, that had always been forbidden. But now? Now it was all his, and he was thriving off that knowledge. He could have Jewel. Growing impatient the longer the kiss drew out, he simply needed more and more- he wanted all that he'd been denied. So with tender licks at her lips and suppled touches, he eased them back in the room, towards the bed. With his emotions on the loose, he just acted on instinct- so he did what felt right. He loved Jewel, in every way he could. Trigger lives a v sad life.
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Post by Jewel Carver on Jul 8, 2015 2:19:30 GMT
Holding Out for a Hero Jewel felt herself being washed away with the tide of strong feelings that flooded through her with his every touch. His hand pressed against her back, his fingers knotted in her hair, and her body pressed against his with a desperate need. Her fingers ran lightly up his body, exploring as she brushed her way up his muscular arms, lightly across his strong shoulders, up the back of his neck before knotting into his hair. She pressed herself against him, pressing closer to him as her lips moved on his with a feverish want. His moans were all she heard, his touch all she felt. When he tilted her head back and lips landed against her the sensitive flesh of her neck, soft sighs slipped from her between her lips, shivers rolling through her body at the promise of more. Only his boxers separated the two of them but it was far too much for her. She wanted to be with him, she needed to feel him as close as two people could be, merged mind, body, and soul. When he began ushering her back into her room, the thought of resisting didn't even cross her mind. There was just something so right and natural about being locked in his arms, desire coursing between them so thick it was palpable. She took advantage of the moment, pausing for a moment under his flurry of attacks to hook a finger under the hem of his boxers, pulling the flimsy material down to the floor in a smooth motion. The sight of Trigger Mason standing in front of her, gorgeous and imposing, was enough to steal her breath away. Fierce desire swept through her once again and she straightened, pressing her body back against his, soft flesh rubbing against his hardened skin. It was as if she'd been waiting for this moment her whole life. Every awkward encounter, every almost-kiss as teenagers, every tear-filled moment, every fight, all lead to this. Jewel smirked, in this moment she was every bit as confident and beautiful as she'd ever been. There was nothing to doubt here. She was with Trigger after all, her Trigger. She caught his bottom lip playfully between her teeth, tongue running along it with a teasing tug. She separated from him, falling backwards onto the bed, cheeks flushed from desire as she gazed up at him, emerald fire lit within her eyes for the first time in a year. She propped herself up on her elbows, biting her own lip now as she looked him over, blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and breasts. Her foot lifted, leg long and shapely, and pressed it against his hard abs, stopping him from joining her on the bed while presenting a very inviting site for him. "Do you love me, Trigger Mason?" She murmured breathlessly, eyes intent on him. She needed to know. She knew how she felt about him but she wanted to hear him say the words. She needed to hear the words. Stay With Me, Until I Fall Asleep… template by Sammy @ Adox 2.0
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